Thursday, August 17, 2006

SOAP

I realized this weekend that Snakes on a Plane is a movie that I have no desire to see. The Intarweb buzz for this movie has been outrageous. For the life of me, I can't figure out why. Sure, Sammy Jackson is a good actor. Is he great? Well.....no. Is he good enough to carry a movie like this? Welllllll...no. Mark my words: this movie is gonna suck.
How can I feel so strongly about that when the movie doesn't even come out until tomorrow? From the trailers, Jackson's charcter is pretty weak. He plays a cop of some sort, probably a sky marshall. Yay, another cop on a plane. That's pretty unoriginal. The protagonists are snakes? Yeah, that worked great in such films as "Slither" and "Anaconda". You have both of those in your first line DVD collection, right? OK, six of you do. What about everyone else? Yeah, that's what I thought. "Anaconda" had Kari Wuhrer and JLo's big ass in it, and it still couldn't be saved.
The Intarweb has this wierd underground popularity thing that this flick has tapped into. Its sort of the "Pirates vs Ninja" thing, but with a movie. What effect will that have? It'll probably cause the movie to debut at #1, knocking another movie I have no desire to see out of that spot, and then it'll disappear soon after. If they'd have made the snakes look real, it may have had a chance...but it doesn't. Try to at least see it on a matinee if you have to see it. At least that way you'll be out slightly less money.

4 comments:

Draven said...

Well, the 'bad guy' has to be snakes. Hollywood doesn't want to show what a sky marshal's likely bad guy would be, you know?

Haji said...

Good point. Hard to believe that the same wHollywierd that in, what, 1956 I think (In Harm's Way with an all star cast. Go rent it if you haven't seen it. Excellent movie considering its age), gave us the line "And I can't believe you're Rock Torre's son. I think somebody musta gotten in there ahead of him", would be so PC now. They can show Sharon Stone's nether regions, but can't offend certain groups. I've been saying for a while that I'd really like to see a movie based on what ODA 555 did in Afghanistan at the beginning of the GWOT. Instead we get Flight 93 and the new 9/11 with Nick Cage. Draven's right: we're lookin' at the wrong bad guys here. Thank God there was balls enough to get Munich made.

Anne said...

I was going to pass on it simply because it was snakes.

On a plane.

In a day and age when you cannot bring a liquid-filled baby pacifier on a plane.

Too much of a suspension of disbelief for me . . .

Haji said...

Absolutely! I saw a post on one of the forums I frequent where the "originality" of movies was being discussed. Sombody made a comment that "at least its not just a remake of an older movie", as we've seen so much of lately. Two posts later, someone linked to a photo of snakes on a plane as a skit comedy piece. I think it was SNL, but I'm not certain. Still, that was funny!