Classic monologue for the day

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas."
"A what?"
"A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace...bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one...big hitter, the Lama...long..into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish eighteen, and he's gonna stiff me. And I say,'Hey, Lama! Hey, how about a little something...yuh know...for the effort..yuh know.' And he says, 'Oh, there won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive...total consiousness.' So I got that goin' for me...which is nice." -Karl Spackler, Assistant Greenskeeper (they say that doesn't mean anything, being assistant greenskeeper), Bushwood Country Club.