Saturday, January 12, 2008

Who Cares About Calories: It Just Makes Sense.

Here's a couple examples of epic feasting materials. Taken in moderation, its probably good for ya in some way. Taken in excess, these might kill a lesser man.
First up, the BSLT:

This started as a basic BLT. However, a sense of the grandiose caused it to become much, much more. When Makin' Bacon, one might as well cook the whole package. It just makes sense. So we had significant amounts of bacon, which means this glorious concoction has eight slices of bacon on it. If you have bacon, you might as well also cook up the sausage patties in the freezer, too. It just makes sense. A look around the kitchen yielded very large bread, in this case, 6" X 4" sourdough. While building this sammich, it was found that four sausage patties fit on the bread, and since it fit, it needed to be there. It just makes sense. So, in order to build The Overlord of Breakfist Sammiches, start with the base layer sourdough, and arrange the sausage patties thereupon. Next comes eight slices of bacon, followed by tomato and lettuce. They should be in this order to preserve the flow of color; obviously. It just makes sense. Between the lettuce and the top layer of bread one needs mayonnaise. I might consider Miracle Whip and/or Ranch Dressing as acceptable variants, but mayo really is the best option.

I was lovin' this brekfist so much I almost forgot to take a pic of it, but I at the halfway point, I came to my senses and grabbed my camera. While shooting one photo, I noticed an opportunity to create what photographers call "composition". You get a bonus cookie if you can name the movie on the big screen. It would have been better if the ashtray wasn't there, but the power 
of the image still comes through.

Next up is something I saw on the Food Network. I think the show is called "Diners Drive-Ins and Dives". The premise is that the host goes to various non-chain restaurants and checks out their signature offerings within a certain theme. That's where the Stuffed Burger comes from. I wish I could remember who's it is to give them proper credit; they deserve it. They make theirs by using the lid of an institutional sized mayo container. They line it with plastic wrap, and use it as a form. I free handed mine, which is probably how it ended up being so huge. The key is to use good quality beef; don't use the ultra fatty low end stuff or your results won't be as good.

I made a patty and formed a small depression in the middle. next I added a bit of minced garlic (of course!) and a mound of cheddar cheese. Try to keep the impression shallow so that the stuffing doesn't break 
out through the patty. Keep it in the middle, for reasons that will become obvious rather quickly.

Next another patty is formed and then added as a "cap" to the lower patty. Form the edges so that they're sealed as best you can, and throw that bad boy on a griddle or grill. Because the Real Burger King is gonna be pretty thick, go slow with the heat. You don't wanna char the outside and have the middle un-melted. Cook that bad boy to your preferred level of done-ness, and garnish to taste. This is the most tasty burger I've had, and I've had a 
lot of 'em. I'm not making burgers any other way from now on. It just makes sense.


Grifter said...

My hat is off to you sir, you truly know how to make a serious sammich.

The movie is Beerfest.

Haji said...

You know your low brow comedy, sir! Well done; the movie is, as you correctly surmised, Beerfest.