Why you must see 300

Have you not seen "300" yet? Is there something wrong with you? There must be; this is a must see film. Think of the best movie you've ever seen. This one's better than that. Here's some reasons why you have to, in no particular order:

1. Its not a historical documentary; its based on a graphic novel. As such, the visual aspect of the movie is unlike anything else you've seen.
2. Its not The Grapes of Wrath. Even the simple amongst you are capable of following the story.
3. Spartan women are hot, tough, and not to be trifled with.
4. The one liners from this film warrant watching it several times. In IMAX if possible.
5. This movie has all the best things about the fighting spirit: honor, integrity, patriotism, truth, justice, and living by the warrior's code. If you don't understand these things, you're a liberal. Move to Cuba. Do it now.
6. Action. Lots of it.
7. Spartan women.
8. Its long enough that you get your money's worth without your butt falling asleep or having to sit so long you have to get up to take a leak.
9. Goosebumps. This has much to do with the display of the warrior spirit. If this doesn't get to you, you're sheeple. Move your candy ass to Cuba.
10. All your friends have seen it. You're not on the same page with your friends. They're talking about it, and you have no idea what they're talking about. You might as well move to Cuba.
    

Don't be a bozo. Go see this movie, or move to the aforementioned worker's paradise. Those are your choices.