New Tactical Light for Schwaggie...and bad timing

After months and months of agonizing over how I was gonna add a light to Schwaggie without breaking the bank (the Scout Light will pretty much do that), I finally came to my senses a little bit and realized that I have a 6P laying around not currently tasked to other assignments. Since ya just can't have a Surefire without a job, I decided to slap that bad boy on my baby.

However, I lacked a decent interface. I had a Weaver ring on it, but that was too ugly for one as tacticool as me, so I went to work (literally) and picked up a Vltor Scout Mount for it, and while I was at it, I grabbed a shock isolated bezel for it, too. My bro Jimmy Baggadonuts gave me a brand new spare P60 lamp, so I have a spare for this one. Yeah, I have awesome friends.

The thing I found out the next day, though, is that we got the new LED conversion lamps from Surefire in. Dang it. Not what I needed to have happen. Not sure If I'm gonna take the shock iso bezel back or just run this system until the lamps burn out, but I'm kinda leaning towards just running the lamps I have. I could go to the P61L for more output, which is always sexy...until you're clearing a room and find a mirror. Don't ask. I couldn't see very well before. Its worse after.

Oh, well, new parts is new parts. I'm stoked with the simplicity of the engineering of the Vltor mount, and how tight it holds. I'm curious to see how its going to hold up to sustained fire, since I didn't Lock-Tite the screw. The directions didn't say to do that, so I din't. I'll test it as is. At any rate, here are some pics for your viewing enjoyment.




What's all that crap on my front sight post? lol

The reasoning behind the light placement is that its an easy reach for the thumb from the vertical grip. Additionally, if I decide not to run the broom handle, I can still get a forward grip on the fore end...although if I decide to go that way, I may pick up a Viking Tactics mount and run it horizontally off the top of the rail, which would allow a very far forward grip, which I like. As it is now, I still have some rail to lean on a baricade or structure under the FSB. The Daniel Defense 9.5 FSB may just be the perfect rail for guns running fixed front sight blocks.

mil spec and commercial spec receiver extensions (buffer tubes)

Since I looked for the answer to this question for a very long time, I suspect that I'm not alone. This information was given to me by Pat Rogers. I don't know if these are his words or if he got them from somewhere else, but I owe him a debt of gratitude for providing me with this. I have shared it with a couple of other people, and they had the same "wow, thanks!" reaction that I did. That being the case, I decided to post it up here so that the other two people that read my blog can have that info, too. Thanks, Pat!

"Buffer Tube Basics

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know, the correct name is receiver extension tube... so now that we got one of most common mistakes out of the way, let's look at some common questions about receiver extension tubes. I do not pretend to know everything about these rifles, so if you see anything that is wrong, let me know.

This info is for carbine/short/collapsable tubes - all rifle/long/standard tubes are the same (as far as dimensions go)

What is a Mil-Spec Tube? This has to be the most common question. A milspec tube is just as the name implies, made to the specifications of the technical data package (tdp). The biggest concern is the diameter of the tube, the milspec part has a diameter of 1.150, the thread diameter is 1.1875

So the threads are bigger, are they rolled in? The thread are cut in with a regular old lathe. The narrower body section of the tube is reduced by cutting with a concave shaped cutter that "shaves" the metal down, sort of like a plane.

So what are tubes that are not Mil-Spec? During the original cloning of the military AR, the first commercial receiver extension tubes were made from an extrusion, the threads lathe cut and the body was not reduced. The common size for this is 1.170 and that has became the de facto standard for after market tubes.

So commercial tubes are bigger, are they stronger? No, the problem with them is that the threaded section is also 1.170, so the threads are not cut to full "height" and do not fully engage the threads in the receiver. Nearly all of the tubes that I have seen fail in the field broke at the threads or pulled the threads out.

Are there any other concerns with after market tubes? Well, there is really no set standard for size, so they can vary by manufacturer and even from lot to lot -- you can get combinations of after market parts that are tight or loose. Some of them are made with extrusions with an end plug welded in, the quality of the welding can run from pretty solid to pretty poor.

Are those the only two sizes? No, some manufacturers have come out with systems that do not use either the milspec or the aftermarket tube size... The early Choate stock is one example of a proprietory tube.

So what fits what? Milspec tubes work with stocks from Colt, Vltor, CMT, LMT/Crane, etc.

After market tubes work with RRA, BM, DPMS, etc.

A larger, after market stock will fit on a milspec tube, but will be loose and rattle -- a milsec stock will usually not fit on an after market tube... without a hammer.

Hey! My new Mil-Spec tube is too long? Some newer tubes made for the "enhanced" M4 stock are a little longer and have a small taper to the back to match the profile of the stock butt. It should not effect the use of a Mil-Spec stock however."

What does that "test" prove?

I've been studying and researching carbines for a while now, reading what various trainers and trainees have experienced with carbines that have been pushed some. What I noticed about reviews and articles is that, for the most part, the round counts are rather low-I won't blame them for not shooting a case for every rifle they test, because that's a butt load of money-and the courses of fire don't generally show what the gun will do when the carbine is pushed. What I found from other sources contrasts quite a lot with what reviews say.

When the test consists of 300 rounds of leisurely shooting, every carbine on the planet is going to look pretty much the same. With that sort of light use, differences in parts quality won't show up, and a parts gun made with OK parts is going to perform similarly to a Colt, LMT, or LWRC. To see the differences in guns, they have to be pushed.

The reason that Colts and the other brands listed previously at the top have such a stellar reputations is that they hold up under hard use. Second and third tier guns, the commerical brands, have track records of failure that are well documented, as well as being traceable to particular things that differ from the top of the heap. Bolts break because they're not all MP tested and shot peened. Receiver extensions come loose because castle nuts aren't staked. The list goes on.

The thing that's bugging me, because I realize I've touched on this before, is that gun writers are expected to be experts. At least they were when I was growing up. Jordan was a BP agent that had used guns when life counted on it. O'Connor was out slayin' critters all over the world. I'm just not sure that gun writers now live it like they did in the day. There are a few, but they're few and far between. Most of the articles read the same way: here's the history of the rifle...again. Here's the features and stuff the rifle comes with...BTW, a carry strap isn't a tactical sling. Here's the stuff the writer bolted on to take the gun to the range. Here's the list of ammo, and we'll throw the velocity in there for...who knows why. And, 300 rounds later, here's the verdict: "this rifle worked like a champ and all the bullets that fired hit stuff. This rifle worked great, so if you're in the market for a carbine, buy one".

Here's the real bottom line: there's a very good chart that's probably the best resource to determine what's what with commercially available AR carbines. Rob-S, who's been on a lot of forums and who's chart has been declared "good to go" by several big name trainers and carbine authorities. Its the most accurate resource going. The beauty of it is that you can kinda "dial a price" and have a good idea of what features you're getting compared to other brands. Additionally, it shows the difference between the bottom of the line and the top, and if you're savvy, it explains why top tier brands cost what they do. If you happen across Rob-S and his characteristic orange visor, give him a hearty "thank you" for the effort he put into the chart.

All that tacticool crap? What tacticool crap?

I was reading an article on the Sabre Defence Ayoob rifle this afternoon during lunch, and came to a bit of a conclusion: most people don't really know what they're talking about. In this instance, there was a reference to "tacticool gadjets hung on the rail", which is a common complaint in articles, blogs and on some forums where people are known for not knowing what they're talking about. The question that's never answered is "what crap"?

The comment that irked me was along the lines of "I laugh when I see a rail covered in all this tacticool crap". Nobody ever mentions specifically what they're talking about, and I suspect they're talking about stuff shown in pics from the Sandbox. Well, here's a revelation for ya: just because you don't need a couple tac lights and a PEQ-2, doesn't mean that the user doesn't. Here's another revelation: lights fail. If you're gonna have to go clear some mud hut with no windows and your light fails, what are ya gonna do? There's no time out; you still have to go. Does it make sense yet? Two is one, one is none. That may not apply on a square range with timed breaks to change targets, but it sure as hell does in a war zone.

The only thing I can maybe call "crap" are bipods on carbines, but while I don't see their usefullness, there are apparently missions for them besides looking cool...which is good, because they don't look cool. Beyond that, what "crap" are you talking about? The rail mounted sling swivel? The previously mentioned tactical lights? A PEQ box? Optics of several varieties with specific jobs? BUIS? A vert grip because rail space is covered by the tac light and its backup? None of that is lacking a useful purpose. So what is it you're talking about? Or is it just that you don't know what its for, so you're calling it stupid? Yeah, that's what I thought.

For executives, they don't seem to get it very well

I went looking for information regarding The Sarah Connor Chronicles, to see if there was any hope of a season two. Results were inconclusive at best. There's no new info regarding Jericho yet, either. There's, what, four more episodes in the "seasonette"? It would appear that Jericho is in a bad place, seeing as the Writer's Guild decided to give up a bunch of income and not do their damn jobs. That put Jericho in a relatively good place since there were no other shows coming on, but without the writers, there could be no new episodes to follow the current seven, at least not right away. So, due to the writer's strike and the lack of understanding by the executives, we're going to be forced into more "reality" shows, because they're cheap to produce. Additionally, it seems there's no shortage of people who'll make fools of themselves for money.

Before the Intardweb, Nielson boxes were probably a good enough indicator of how a show was doing. Now, in the Information Age, the Nielsons just aren't cutting it anymore. Jericho is a perfect example: the ratings boxes showed that it wasn't doing well and got it cancelled. Fans brought it back (as they did with Star Trek back in the day, and we know how that worked out) with the epic "Nuts" campaign. Many Sci Fi afficionados are huge fans of "Firefly". They managed to get a movie made, even though the show was cancelled.

All that is to say that the networks have to figure out a new way of tracking audience numbers. People are Tivo-ing, watching online, and catching the show in other ways. Timelsots are no longer the hardpoint anchor that they used to be. However, tracking still appears to be done with the Nielson raters. I don't think I know anybody who's ever seen a Nielson box, much less had one. That puts an outsized amount of power in the hands of a relatively small number of people, who may not be in touch with most of the country's wishes.

I just don't wanna see another Big Brother, Survivor, Flava of Love, or some other piece of crap that's cheap to make and is of intolerable badness. Next time the writers go on strike, let 'em go and hire new writers. Unions will be the death of TV just as they are other fields of endeavor. Its not worth it to risk having another "Cavemen."

Schwaggie!

Since I don't have a significant other at the moment (I'll be honest: most moments) I can't post pics of my chick. I can post pics of Schwaggie, since she's the closest thing I have to the hot chick that needs to have pics posted.



 

I Have The Best of Friends

I met my bro Murray at SHOT in Orlando. He may be the only Scot I know, but he'd be my favorite regardless. Murray and I hit it off immediately; he's one of my small handful of brothers-from-another-mother.

My bro sent me another very cool birthday present. Last year, he sent me a bottle of Tobermory 10 YO single malt. I'm still savoring that bottle, enjoying it little by little, as it should be. Another box arrived from my bro. In it, I find this:

The Macallan Fine Oak Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Ten Years Old. Oh my, is this stuff nice. And, like the Tobermory, very unlike other Scottish single malts.It doesn't have that traditional peaty and smokey characteristic that many Islay whiskies do, but that is not to say that it is to the Macallan's detriment. This 
particular whisky is aged in American oak barrels, sourced from Southern whiskey 
makers. They are supplied by distilleries like Jack Daniels, Maker's Mark, and other
distilleries from this area. In addition, more aging is done in barrels that have 
previously held sherry, in both American and European oak barrels. The brewmeister
(or head distiller or other proper name) really knows what he's doing! Unusual,to be sure, but with awesome results!

The box says the nose is "Complex, with a hint of fruit and heather honey. It says of the Palate, "Soft and Malty, balanced with oak and fruit. Of the finish, the box proclaims that it is "lingering, with a hint of oak and fruit". I'd be lying if I said I could pick all that out, but I'm learning...and learning is the fun part! Thank you, Murray! You ROCK!!!

Obama and change: what might that mean?

The juggernaut that is the Barack Hussein Obama Bin Laden campaign keeps rolling along, generating all kinds of...uh...I was gonna say "emptiness", but that's not really the word just yet...let's say "happy feelings". Of course, running against a woman that screws up everything she does hasn't hurt. They're about equal in their lack of experience, and both are scary and potentially ruinously dangerous in their views of foreign policy. Both claim to be progressives, both claim to be for change.

The "progressive" tag is of concern to me. Hillary says she's of the classical progressive model, as in the nineteenth century meaning of the word. To put the term in a political context, it could be said that "progressives" are "ultra liberals". While the current crop of liberals dabbles in the far left wing, and in some cases is half way underwater, the progressives are even further left than that, being heavily into worker's rights and social collectivism. If you think the kooks on the far left that are in office now are leftist, progressives go left, come around and pass the liberals twice on their way to the extreme of fascism and socialism.

Its funny to me that Republicans are constantly labelled as fascists, when the root of the term is easily traced to the Axis powers of WW II and the political systems of Germany and Italy during that time. The Nazis were, as you know from reading my blog, of the National Socialist Party, and were undeniably fascist. Progressives don't overtly have the racism of the Nazis as part of their beliefs, so they're more like Il Duce (Benito Mussolini if you don't know your WW II history) in that respect. Basically, progressives are all about crushing taxes on those that work to fund the myriad of programs they want to institute to keep their base happy. Who's their base? Traditionally, the unemployed, unskilled, and basically stupid, as well as the bleeding hearts that think they're helping and spending money to feel good.

So which is it with B.O.? That's the part that concerns me. According to some figures, the amount of new spending that he's proposed tops $800 Million. He's gone on record as saying that the Bush Tax Cuts only favored the rich (his definition of rich is much different from mine, separated by at least one zero, and more) and that the rich don't pay their fair share. That's not really a new idea; that's the standard Democratic Party line. The problem is, you can't keep abusing the rich in this country and have them continue to stay in this country. That's getting a little off track though.

B.O. is a progressive of the FDR mold. That's not a good thing. While the rest of the world was coming out of the Great Depression, America continued to wallow in it under the weight of the programs FDR instituted. The debt we rang up was nowhere near enough to bring us out of the Depression, but it was plenty enough to keep us in it. The Depression didn't end for America until we were forced to spool up for WW II. FDR was all about runaway spending, which I think B.O. is as well. We're going to bankrupt Social Security because we don't have the money for it, and we're going to add Universal Health Care, Baby Bonds, and expanding the nanny state? C'mon, even a math deficient guy like me can see that we can't do that. If he has his way and he really is a classical progressive, we're going to be a semi-socialist state in the mold of China, but with much less economic clout because slave labor isn't an option...right away...

What if B.O. isn't that far left and isn't a socialist fascist tax and spender? Then he's a classic liberal of the last 30 or so years. Wonderful. We get the failed policies of Carter and Clinton all over again. Same old tired, ineffective, expensive crap: higher taxes, less efficiency, and an even more huge, expensive government we can't afford. America's credit rating takes a nosedive (even more than it already has) and we verge on bankruptcy, which we already are.

I have to blame the Republicans in D.C. for this current state of affairs, at least their culpability in it. This is what happens with run away spending. If the guys in D.C. had stuck to the Contract with America ideals, especially of balancing the budget, we'd be in much better shape. We're in dire straits now, and its not going to get better, even with McCain in office. These next four years are not going to be pretty, no matter who's in there, but a B.O. administration with a democratic Congress is a horrifying thing. I hadn't considered moving to another country, even during the Carter years, which were really rough. I'll have to look into it now. I don't think I'd move, but the fact that I'd consider looking around is, to me, telling.

Great Birthday Presents

I got a box yesterday from my friendly USPS delivery lady. One nice thing about living in a relatively small community: they know where I live and where I work...that's not that difficult to do, given the proximity of Fortress Haji to the ATS shop. Why that is in some way important is that, instead of leaving a parcel that won't fit in my box on my doorstep where it could be removed by goblins or zombies of nefarious intent, they deliver said parcels to my place of work, where they end up in my hands in short order. As I said, that's what happened yesterday.

Now, I knew that this box was in transit, because my bro Assbags (I'm not sure what exactly it means either, but that name was issued by his DI, so he's stuck with it) told me it was on its way. When I opened it, though, I was even more pleasantly surprised. Pleasantlier, if you will. Or if you won't. Inside that box were not one, not two, but ten new black Magpul P-Mags. But wait, there's more! Also in the box were not one, not two, but ten tan Magpuls to go with the mags!

My usual shooting partner, Top, is stuck at the store today, so I haven't taken 'em to the range yet, but the weather seems to be trending towards the better, so it shouldn't be too long.

Speaking of ranges, I spoke to a guy that used to work at the CCPD with one of the guys who works for ATS. He was the range master there, and said we may still have a place to shoot up that way. Things are definitely lookin' up! I'm gonna go do some dry fire with the AR at the bad guys in Shooter now, as well as enjoy the performances of Kate Mara and Rhona Mitra. They're amazing. :)

Hey, that's not a half bad election analysis!

I was over on Kami's blog, reading about the big suck sandwich that's coming from the Presidential elections this time around. I made these comments on a post, and then realized how brilliant and precient I am. So, I had to post 'em here, too...and not just to take up space on my blog! Really! OK, I'm taking up space on my blog...but its still a pretty good analysis.

"The way it looks right now is that Obama Hussien Bin Laden is going to get the Demo-nom. Hillary's campaign looks like rats leaving a burning ship lately. It may still go to delegates, but the way Obama's going, it may be pretty much cut and dried after Texas. Best case scenario is that they'll drain eachother's campaign all the way to the Convention.

McCain is a done deal on the Republican side. If he can actually get across who he is to America, beating up on both Dem candidates will be easy. He's by no means a good candidate, but he's the best of what's left.

I'm getting sick and tired of the political parties putting candidates out there because they've paid their dues and are next in line. That's how we ended up with this wonderful crop of candidates we have now.
Haji"

old

Woke up, went to work, worked all day, hung out in the shop for a little bit, chipped the ice off my windshield, went home, made stuffed burger, watched Jericho. Uneventful birthday. 41 is very much like 40. BORING! On the plus side, I'm seriously considering getting an LWRC M6A2 as my birthday/graduation gift to myself. Might be the last chance to get a bad ass rifle before the administration change.

I wish I could afford to spend every weekend in Vegas

I'm not gonna bother running down what I saw at SHOT. Better info than I could share is all over the Intardweb already, so there's no point in rehashing it here. I can't really delve into details of what we did, either. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Here's the broad strokes, I guess.

My flight was delayed about an hour, so I got to Vegas a full hour and a half later than I was supposed to. That wouldn't have been such a big deal, except that my friend Mark was waiting to pick me up. I owe that man greatly. I stayed at his house that night with a couple other friends, and we rolled to SHOT the next morning. We stopped at one of the Station casinos for the breakfast buffet. Tons of sausage and bacon later, we rolled to the show.

The show...meh. Cool stuff, but no real break out products this year. Gemtech has a whole bunch of new suppressors, and Magpul has some cool new stuff, as you'd expect from Magpul. ATS had a booth at the show for the first time, and by all accounts did very well.

After kickin' it at the show all day, we went to our luxury condo suite at Wyndam Suites Resort. That was our base of operations for the rest of the weekend. Mark, Mike, Darren, myself, and Jeromy went to meet the rest of the Lightfighter mods at Hoffbrau House, which was excellent. Two liters of dark German beer and jaegershnitzel later, I was a happy guy. The only drawback was that it was louder than loud in there, and we were unable to really talk. Jeromy got progressively more drunk and increasingly funny. After dinner, we met up with more LF'ers at BJ's, who has Newcastle on tap. Nice! Saw some friends from Cali that I haven't seen in quite a while, which was great. Met some new folks, saw some people I'd met before, and had a great time. Got to bed late.

After SHOT on Sunday, back to the Suite for the Super Bowl and a gathering of about 20 for my birthday. Great time! After the Super Bowl and some other shenanigans, it was off to The Stratosphere for the Gemtech/LaRue party. Again, very successful operations at draining the open bar were undertaken. Great times again! After that party was closed down, it was off to the Hooters casino to continue the shenanigans. Got back late. Loved every minute of it.

Monday, we were pretty whiped out, so we went back to the suite, decided we were hungry, and headed off to the casino who's name I can't recall; I think it was the Monte Carlo. Good buffet, even though the prime rib was dry. Awesome little mousse cake things. I almost ate too much, but pulled back just at the right moment. Extreme Gear Labs paid for dinner. Go buy gear from them; Darren is a great dude and has some unique ideas on gear.

Tuesday was the last day of the show. I was fortunate enough to wander the show with Jeromy, who's a hell of a guy and a real American hero. He was blown up about a year ago, and is finally back on his feet. My man is healing nicely, and is really hoping to get back in the fight. We met a lot of people, because Jeromy is pretty well known. Spent a little more time with one of my favorite guys, Bill Harsey, and Jeromy bought a cool Sebenza from Chris Reeve. Chris liked my "Hadji Don't Surf" patch, so at Jeromy's prompting, I gave it to him. He gave me one of the very coveted CRK "think twice, cut once" shirts, this one written in Swahili. Hell of a trade, I thought.

Most of our crew left us Tuesday night, so that left Jeromy, myself, and Mike to hit Ellis Island for barbecue. After we successfully made a big mess of the table and got pork stuffed, we headed over to The Freakin' Frog, and proceeded to clean them out of 1554. We met up with Matrix (one of the few people in the world who's screen name is easier to use than his real name) his friend who's name I can't recall, author Erick Gelhaus, and the dudes from Ashley Outdoors sights. We were able to use the members only section upstairs because Matrix has been spending money there forever. We eventually closed the bar, and headed back to the Suite again.

The cab driver deserves special mention. First, he said he had been an executive at...some Strip casino, like the MGM or whatever. He cashed in and retired. He asked us what we were doing in Vegas, and we said "SHOT show". He asked if anybody was military, because he'd been an 18E and...something else. 91W or something. He said he spent 18 of his 20 years in Special Forces. Jeromy made a comment about hookers, so he said "Yeah, I can hook that up for you. I took care of Peyton Manning's friends while they were here. They called me to thank me for the great time they had", and he hands Jeromy a little catalog thing. Dude was a Son Tay Raider, weilder of corporate power, and now Vegas' premier cab driving pimp. We were chuckling at that guy for quite a while afterward.

Unfortunately I had to leave on Wednesday, but it was good to be home and sleeping in my own bed. The show...meh. The after show activities...hells yeah!!!

A Way With Words

This is taking too long

Isn't it Friday yet? Dammit. This waiting to leave for SHOT is taking entirely too dang long.

Getting closer to getting the paper and celebrating it!!

I got an e-mail today that said my degree had been posted. I should have the actual paper shortly; hopefully within the week, but I don't know for sure. I'm fairly excited that I'm finally getting the tangible evidence of my $15,000, and I'll feel better about having it on my resume. lol! I think I have a shot at graduating Cum Laude, but I'm not sure what my final GPA is.

I leave on Friday night, heading to Vegas for SHOT show. I'm totally looking forward to getting out of Kentucky again. The Winters here are gray most of the time.

I'm gonna be celebrating my birthday with a small number of friends with the Super Bowl, then meeting up with my LF bretheren for a...sloppier get together. Pics will probably not be posted of that; I guess we'll see what happens. Its gonna be a fun, fun six days!

Nigerian 419 Scams: the one that got away!

I mentioned in the other 419 Scam Thread that there was one more that I had received and wanted to post, but that I couldn't find. Well, I found it, but in the printed page form, which means I have to transcribe it. It came originally in all caps, but I'm gonna type it out in more typical grammar, which makes it easier to read. I tell ya, the things I do for both readers of my blog...

Greetings my dear friend:
I hope it will not be an embarrassmentness to you that I am writing even though we have never met. The Nigerian Ministry of Trade and Funny Hats referred me to you as a person of the highest integritableness, and I wish to secure your cooperation in a business venture.

I am a prominent Cardinal in the Roman Catholic Church. Recently, our chief executive, Pope John Paul II passed away after an illness. You can read about it here at
www.cnn.com/2005/world/europe/04/02/pope.dies. At the time, I was in charge of fundraising on the African continent, and I was in possession of a fund containing $19.1 USD intended for the purchase of Bingo cards.

Now that our Pontiff is gone, I am without supervision for the foreseeable future. And I am aware that as a black man, I have a better chance of becoming a Hooters Girl than of being elected Pope. It is my intention to remove these funds from Nigeria and use them for the construction of a bachelor pad in Bel Air, California, where I shall spend the remainder of my life hammering tall blond bimbos like a bloody steam drill. However, I require a foreigner to assist me.

In exchange for 20% of said monies, I will require you to come to Lagos posing as the owner of a company that prints Bingo cards. I shall tender a check to you, which you will run through your bank account in the United States. Then you will remit 80% to me, care of the Western Union Branch in West Hollywood.

Contact me immediately so that we can discuss the modalities of this transaction. If you do not assist me, by Jove, you shall jolly well go to Hell.

God Bless

Cardinal Francis Arinze
Lagos, NIG.

If you happen to know who composed this originally please let me so that proper credit can be given. This has got to be one of the best parodies of 419 scam e-mails ever.

Ask Me if I Care About 'Mishandling' of Koran Op Ed by Doug Patton

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Nigerian 419 scam: interesting variations

I've been getting 419 scam e-mails for about five years now, but every once in a while, there's an interesting variation on the theme that makes them worth saving. Since I hang onto them, I figured I'd go ahead and share them in case you don't get the same ones.

This first one's different because of the source of the funds: the family that owns the money, in its entirety, is killed in a plane crash. Naturally, because I'm so well known for my integrity, I'm to assist in the stealing of their money. Interestingly, this guy is planning to defraud the bank, but is going to remain in their employ. The personal contact information is also atypical, but that's simply the evolution of the scam. The thing that still amazes me is that this scam is perpetuated entirely electronically, and yet the spelling and grammar is, in every case I have seen so far, atrocious.

Dear firend

With due respect and humility, I wish to write you about this business
proposal. I am a staff in one of the Bank here in Cote D'Ivoire. I am
writing following the impressive regards to you about this business
opportunity.

In my department, I discovered an abandoned sum of USD $25.4M (Twenty
Five Million Four Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) in an account
that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his
entire family in September 2004, in a plane crash. Since the notification
of his death, our Bank have been expecting his next of kin to come
forward and claim his fund because our Bank cannot release it unless
somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as
indicated in our banking guidelines and policies but unfortunately I learnt
that all his supposed next of kin or relation died along side with him at
the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claims.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business proposal to you so that we can co-operate with one mind and get this
fund transferred to your bank account as the next of Kin/beneficiary of
the Deceased Account. Since I am still remain in service with this
Bank, and also since nobody is coming forth to claim the money and I don't
want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The
request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the
fact that the customer was a foreigner and an Ivorian cannot stand as
next of kin to a foreigner. I will agree that 25% of this money will be
for you as a foreign partner. In respect to the provision of a foreign
bank account where the money will be transfer to, 10% will be map out
for any expenses incurred during the course of the transaction and 65 %
would be for me.

There after I will visit your country for disbursement according to the
percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of
this fund to you as I arranged, you must apply first to the bank as
relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your
bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easier and
effective communication and location where the money will be remitted.
Meanwhile, for the first step to proceed, I will advice you to forward
your full name, address, telephone and fax number so that I can make
the registration of your information in our banking system as the next of
Kin/beneficiary of the Deceased Account and I will also backdate it to
the date the account was opened with our Bank.

Upon receipt of your response and after the successful registry of your
information in our banking system I will send to you by fax or email
the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice
that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any
atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the
transfer. You should please contact me as soon as you receive this letter.

I look forward for your response.


Best Regards,
Mr. Julius Akah.
E-mail:juleakah@yahoo.fr
Tél: +22505586622

This second one is interesting because its not about defrauding banks and governments anymore. The twist on the story is that there's a large sum of money that is an inheritance that has to be shipped out of the country to some address of my selection. Seems overly complicated, but its not my scam. Why the security company charged with the box's safe keeping would release it to me and not just send it with her is a bit of a mystery, I guess. Again, the personalizing touch of the e-mail address is given.

Message from Miss Rhodia Punga
Please treat with respect,

My name is Miss RHODIA PUNGA. I am a girl of 21 years old and I am a
citizen of COTE D'IVOIRE (IVORY COAST IN WEST AFRICA), an orphan to the

late former (OBUETI) top cocoa dealer Mr. PAUL PUNGA who died in 2004
as a result of food poison suspected to be given to him by the plans of

his colleaques and uncles because of his fame and wealth, my mother
died when I was 6 years old.

I inherited a total sum of $4.6 million US dollars from my late
parents. This money which is concealed in a metallic trunk box is
deposited in a security and finance company in Ivory Coast under a
secret arrangement as a family treasure and African art works. This
means that the security company does not know the real content of this
box that was sent from the United State of America to Ivory Coast under

a diplomatic coverage.

My main purpose of sending you this mail is because of the way I found
you and perhaps trustworthy to give this priority of shipping this box
of money to any address that you think is very secure and safe in place

with your percentage of which we shall chat on soon. I will come over
to your country to continue my education as soon as the funds is
claimed by you.

There is need for urgent action because I am paying demurrage charges
to the Security Company for safe keeping this consignment. I give
thanks immensely for your co-operation as I look forward to hearing
from you soonest.

Please do contact me through this YAHOO EMAIL address: rdpunga30@yahoo.
co.jp And as soon as I hear from you, I will give you the details of

this transcation and how you will contact the Security Company for the
immediate claim of this trunk box on my behalf.


Best Regard,
RHODIA PUNGA

I thought I had one more, but I can't find it. The last one was a parody, actually, and I really wish I could locate it. I'll keep looking for it, but I'm very disappointed that its not saved where I thought it was. It was quite excellent.

No Money from Me for "Rambo"

"Until America, door to door, takes every handgun, this is what you're gonna have."
--Sylvester Stallone

Nice bit of hypocrisy there, Sly. I guess its totally different when you make a big damn paycheck off of guns. After all, its just a movie, right? Wrong.

Rumors are that you have a CCW and a private range on your property...which I whole-heartedly support. What I can't support is your belief that you're somehow more important than the rest of us, and we need to be disarmed while your celebrity allows you to protect yourself. You can do what you wanna do, bro. However, actions have repercussions, and the repercussion of this is that you will get not one thin dime from me to see any of your movies, in the theater, on DVD on on TV, ever. EVER.
Signed-
Haji, a pissed off gun owning, gun shooting, carrying every day consumer.

Juggernaut!

This was, without a doubt, one of the very funniest things to happen in the snow of Colorado.

Another Sound Bite-Like Attempt to Say Where I Stand

There are websites sprining up all over that attempt to give bubble gum answers as to who I should support politically based on sound bite questionaires. I did this one out of curiousity, rather than the need to know where I stand with the candidates, but here's the results anyway:
90% Fred Thompson
88% Mitt Romney
85% Tom Tancredo
84% Mike Huckabee
79% John McCain
68% Ron Paul
60% Rudy Giuliani
35% Bill Richardson
29% Hillary Clinton
25% John Edwards
24% Barack Obama
24% Joe Biden
20% Chris Dodd
13% Mike Gravel
7% Dennis Kucinich

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz
29% agreement with Hillary Clinton? Are you kidding me? I'm the Anti-Hillary. If she says something, I'll believe whatever the opposite is. Additionally, where's Duncan Hunter? He's probably even more in agreement with my views than Fred Thompson is, and we agree on a lot. The 7% that I am alleged to agree with Dennis Kucinich does not happen to be on UFO's.

Open Letter to Presidential Candidates

Its an election year, and candidates are allegedly asking for support from registered voters like myself. You want my vote, you need my vote. I'm gonna tell you how to get it.

Arright, lets get right to it. Here's the thing: I'm sick and tired of corporations being demonized for "being greedy". How big a house does Senator Edwards have? Corporations are greedy? I'll tell ya what: I've never been harmed by the head of a corporation. They don't do anything to me other than provide me services and products, and provide jobs. The government, on the other hand, has been all up in my business and done considerable harm to my freedom. You want my vote? Get the damn government out of my life. Get it out of my way. Quit infringing on my rights "for the greater good of the collectiv".

You guys who don't like guns are just gonna have to grin and bear it. I don't like that career politicians that make a hundred K a year are millionares when they leave office. Deal with it. The Second Amendment is about private ownership of guns, even evil black ones. You're gonna have to trust me that I'm going to use it lawfully, because I'm a law abiding citizen. Its already illegal to use a gun illegally. Prosecute the laws that say that and leave me the hell alone to shoot whatever firearm I wanna shoot. Remember what happened when the Dems got all uppity about gun control? Yeah. They lost control of Congress and a Republican was put in the White House. Don't think we won't do it again. LEAVE MY GUNS ALONE. If you have any questions about what the Framers meant, read the Federalist Papers. As a matter of fact, that should be required reading. Go get a copy. You make enough money to splurge on a paperback copy.

You guys don't get the illegal immigration issue, do you? Illegals-not undocumented, ill-freakin'-legal, as in against the damn law-do not contribute tax money to the system that offsets what they take out. Go to the outback areas of California, Arizona and Texas. See the damage these people do to VOTER'S private property. Broken fences, trash clean up, wildfires, cutting of locks, and the like cost AMERICAN CITIZENS WHO VOTE hard earned money. Not tax money, money out of pocket. Illegal Aliens are a drain on America. GET THE IMMIGRATION PROBLEM UNDER CONTROL!! Build the fence. If you have a mental block on this topic, get with Duncan Hunter. He gets it. He gets it to the point that he's the guy I support at this time. You want my vote? Fix illegal immigration. I know its not easy, but if it was easy everybody would run for President. I imagine you want to be President because you think you can fix things. That's something that needs fixin' big time. Get it done.

Here's the simple one: cut taxes and CUT SPENDING!!! We're gonna go bankrupt the way things are now. Forget universal health care; that's an impossible pipe dream. You guys in Washington still haven't fixed Social Security. I already expect a huge bolus of a tax increase somewhere down the road if you don't fix it. I'm not gonna see any benefits from it, and I'm throwing money down a hole now that I could be investing in my retirement. You guys HAVE to stop spending money like its Monopoly money. There's rediculous amounts of pork in the budget. You HAVE to get rid of it and get spending under control, or we're looking at another depression. The dollar is falling like a rock because Congress has spent like there's no tomorrow. That cannot continue. Want my vote? Have a plan to fix that.

I don't want to see my friends and aquaintances killed in Iraq. However, the job isn't done, and we have to stay there as long as it takes to get that job done. Pulling out now will destabilize the region, and if we're gonna be killing terrorists, I'd rather have 'em all there than here. The surge worked, despite what those encephalitic morons Pelosi and Reid have said. Let the Democratic party be invested in defeat. That doesn't mean that America has to be. Finish the job there, get Iraq back on its feet, and whack as many terrorists as it takes to get the job done. We started this thing. We have to finish it. You think the costs of being there are high? What do you think the long term costs of America looking like quitters again are? Just because some Americans have the attention span of a gnat doesn't mean all people do. Don't give us another black eye by starting something we don't finish. That would be suicidal for the country.

See? Pretty simple to get my vote. You know what you have to do now. Politically difficult? Yeah, probably. But I don't care even a little bit about how hard it might be. I care that these things get fixed and addressed properly. Other elected politicians have dropped the ball and failed to nut up and go to work. I expect that you believe you're better than they are, or you wouldn't be taking this task on. Go to work for the country.

Just in case you think I don't understand how the system works, TRUST ME when I say that I'm holding my representative- and Congress-members feet to the fire as well. You guys work together and get it done, and you'll have a good shot at being thought of in the same vein as Ronald Wilson Reagan, one of the greatest Presidents in American history. That's no accident. Learn the lessons of the Reagan Revolution.

Who Cares About Calories: It Just Makes Sense.

Here's a couple examples of epic feasting materials. Taken in moderation, its probably good for ya in some way. Taken in excess, these might kill a lesser man.
First up, the BSLT:

This started as a basic BLT. However, a sense of the grandiose caused it to become much, much more. When Makin' Bacon, one might as well cook the whole package. It just makes sense. So we had significant amounts of bacon, which means this glorious concoction has eight slices of bacon on it. If you have bacon, you might as well also cook up the sausage patties in the freezer, too. It just makes sense. A look around the kitchen yielded very large bread, in this case, 6" X 4" sourdough. While building this sammich, it was found that four sausage patties fit on the bread, and since it fit, it needed to be there. It just makes sense. So, in order to build The Overlord of Breakfist Sammiches, start with the base layer sourdough, and arrange the sausage patties thereupon. Next comes eight slices of bacon, followed by tomato and lettuce. They should be in this order to preserve the flow of color; obviously. It just makes sense. Between the lettuce and the top layer of bread one needs mayonnaise. I might consider Miracle Whip and/or Ranch Dressing as acceptable variants, but mayo really is the best option.

I was lovin' this brekfist so much I almost forgot to take a pic of it, but I at the halfway point, I came to my senses and grabbed my camera. While shooting one photo, I noticed an opportunity to create what photographers call "composition". You get a bonus cookie if you can name the movie on the big screen. It would have been better if the ashtray wasn't there, but the power 
of the image still comes through.


Next up is something I saw on the Food Network. I think the show is called "Diners Drive-Ins and Dives". The premise is that the host goes to various non-chain restaurants and checks out their signature offerings within a certain theme. That's where the Stuffed Burger comes from. I wish I could remember who's it is to give them proper credit; they deserve it. They make theirs by using the lid of an institutional sized mayo container. They line it with plastic wrap, and use it as a form. I free handed mine, which is probably how it ended up being so huge. The key is to use good quality beef; don't use the ultra fatty low end stuff or your results won't be as good.

I made a patty and formed a small depression in the middle. next I added a bit of minced garlic (of course!) and a mound of cheddar cheese. Try to keep the impression shallow so that the stuffing doesn't break 
out through the patty. Keep it in the middle, for reasons that will become obvious rather quickly.

Next another patty is formed and then added as a "cap" to the lower patty. Form the edges so that they're sealed as best you can, and throw that bad boy on a griddle or grill. Because the Real Burger King is gonna be pretty thick, go slow with the heat. You don't wanna char the outside and have the middle un-melted. Cook that bad boy to your preferred level of done-ness, and garnish to taste. This is the most tasty burger I've had, and I've had a 
lot of 'em. I'm not making burgers any other way from now on. It just makes sense.
 

Merry Christmas!

I've been in Colorado-Durango, specifically-for about 10 days now, and I'll be here till the 31st....assuming that I don't get snowed in. Its been a heck of a good time so far!

My boy Josh and our friend Matt were here last week. We did some snow mobiling(lotsa fun and the views were rediculous)and a bit of shooting. Josh's new CZ rifle shoots very small groups. I shot about 5 rounds into one ragged hole at about a hundred yards with ammo it didn't like as much. That thing is pretty sweet. Other than the aforementioned activities and a couple visits to local restaurants (not counting Sonic), I've done very little.

Of course, there's been some watching of sports and movies, and we had to do some work to put a good dent in the beer stash, but for the most part, I've spent most of the time here enjoying not doing any required reading, writing of papers, or studying for or taking of exams. I haven't been able to do that for a year, and its been great.

I have been pondering whether I need to get a Masters or not. I can probably finish that in two years, but I don't know yet how much I need it. If I have to, I'll go back, but I haven't come to that decision just yet. I'll see how the job prospects go first.

So, there's the update, and the Merry Christmas/Happy New Year wishes for the three or four readers of Haji's Place. I hope you and yours are having a great time together!

Nancy Pelosi is out of her damn mind

The worst House Speaker the nation has ever seen is running her suck again, saying of Republicans in Congress "They like this war. They want this war to continue." Yeah, that's it Speaker Pelosi. We like war. We want our people to die. Its how we secure power. Nice going, MENSA.

What the Republicans believe in is winning. You don't win by walking away before the job is done. I'd lay money that I've lost more friends and aquaintances than any of the Weak...I mean...Democrats...in Congress, and I don't want to see their sacrifice go for nothing by quitting before the job is done. You short sighted, politically motivated fools in Congress vote to go there, and then want to pull out before the job is done to make the President look bad. How you arrive at that reasoning is beyond me. Clearly you do not have the country's long term interests at heart. If this were any other country, you'd probably be up on charges for treason.

The crux of the matter, of course, comes a bit later, according to the AP article: "She expressed frustration over Republicans' ability to force majority Democrats to yield ground on taxes, spending, energy, war spending and other matters." That might be because between Pelosi and Reid, this Congress has had the lowest approval rating in the history of keeping track of such things, at about 14%.

Face it, Nance. Your leadership has been inept and ineffective. You won't be speaker for much longer, even if by some miracle the Dems keep their majority. Its time you finally packed it in and California got somebody who actually does some good for them. Of course, since you represent San Francisco, they'll just send another socialist. Maybe you can seceed SF from California and the rest of the Union, perhaps taking metro L.A. with you, and start your own little worker's paradise. It really would be the best thing that could happen to the country.